KLEIN'S LAWS
Truths and Observations by Chuck Klein and others
***** Copyright 1998 - 2025 Chuck Klein *****
Permission granted to quote the following "laws" provided this line is included:
Copyright 1998 - 2025 Chuck Klein
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KLEIN'S LAWS have been accepted into the GENERAL SCIENCE JOURNAL, a site Dedicated to the Free Expression of Scientific Theories and Philosophy. Please click on www.gsjournal.net/Science-Journals/Essays/View/3711 then click on the "file" link.
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"KLEIN'S 1st LAW:
No Lying, No Cheating, No Stealing. No Exceptions, No Excuses."
"KLEIN'S COROLLARY TO KLEIN'S FIRST LAW:
Vital Exigent Circumstance integrated with the Lesser of Two Evils Doctrine supersedes all guiding principles."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF LAWS:
We are NOT a nation of laws - we are a nation of constitutions. Laws, statutes, court decrees, presidential edicts are subservient to constitutions."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF TRUTH:
Though truth is absolute; absolute is never absolutely absolute."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF HIGHER EDUCATION:
Universities irrigated the seeds of appeasement, while drought-stricken Americanism withered. "
"KLEIN'S CONSTITUTIONAL LAW:
The Constitution should be amended to say: For every new law, statute or ordinance - two must be repealed."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF WEALTH: There are only two kinds of wealth: Rich and Super Rich. The Rich can’t spend the interest on their investments – the Super Rich can’t spend the interest on the interest of their investments. In other words, expenditures expand to meet income until income exceeds the proficiency to expend."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF AMERICAN JURISPRUDENCE:
American justice may be blindfolded, but human frailties and political pressure tempts peeking by the justices themselves."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF JUDICIAL IMPARTIALITY:
When a judge imparts his instructions or charges to a jury; that jury is no longer impartial."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF EMPLOYMENT:
Everyone should have at least one job in his or her lifetime where they start each day with the revelation, 'You mean they pay me to do this?'"
"KLEIN'S LAW OF SALES OR OTHER REQUESTS:
The worst they can do is say: 'No.'"
"KLEIN'S LAW OF THE FUTURE:
The longevity of any republic or democracy is dependent upon: The 4th Estate's ability to identify and expose the 5th Column(s) in a manner framed by the 4th Dimension."
"KLEIN'S 1st THEORY OF THE EVOLUTION OF CREATION:
After creating the heavens and earth, our G-d made the sun - on the third day. Whereas, there was no sun on the first two days, those days might have been 24 gazillion +/- days long. During that time, another god may have made a sun and then populated the earth with his designs (pre-historic man). Then, that god's sun burned out killing off his life-forms. Our G-d returns (about 6000 years ago from today) and creates the current sun and our ancestors, Adam and Eve."
"KLEIN'S 2nd THEORY OF THE EVOLUTION OF CREATION:
Our G-d created the heavens and earth and all the rest of the stuff, including pre-historic man, about 24 gazillion +/- years ago. After a fashion, He realized His cavemen hadn’t progressed very far and He rid the earth of them. Then, about 6000 years ago, from today, He created Adam and Eve – and gave them sufficient mental powers to allow their future generations to advance imaginatively. Checking in now, our G-d might be disappointed inasmuch as the progress He hoped for has spawned perpetual wars, species extinction and pollution of His streams and oceans, which raises the question: Will He “rid the earth” of us to create a new and better Adam and Eve?"
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF TIME:
G_d may not have provided mere mortals with the ability to conquer the 4th dimension, as thus empowered, man might be tempted to alter His plans and designs."
"KLEIN’S 2nd LAW OF TIME:
If Mass is positive (Einstein’s Law E=MC2) then a negative Mass would reverse time ( T= -MC2 ). If the Space Station is a positive mass and has no gravity; perhaps gravity is in the center of a planet. Shouldn’t we be exploring inner space? "
"KLEIN'S COROLLARY TO EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF RELATIVITY:
All matters that are not matters of matter, are matters of perspective."
"KLEIN’S LAW OF THE UNIVERSE(S):
The Commonality between scientist, creationist and evolutionist is the question: What lies beyond The Beyond?"
"KLEIN’S LAW OF FAIRNESS:
Fairness is not fair if it forces someone else to give up what's fairly theirs."
"KLEIN’S LAW OF BEAUTY:
If beauty lies in the eye of the beholder and the beholder doesn't see the beauty to behold, the beholder might be vision impaired."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF LIFE:
The secret to life is the ability to adapt to change."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF LIFE:
To a parent, nothing, absolutely nothing, can emulate the loss of a child."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF LIFE:
It is a blessing if our parents are spared the pain and anguish of out-living us. We are, however, always astounded to be blessed so soon."
"KLEIN'S 4th LAW OF LIFE:
Living outside the lines tends to spawn euphoric frustrations which ofttimes is the only route to deep personal satisfaction."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF G_D's EXISTENCE:
That inner voice you hear every time you're about to do something wrong. . . is G_d speaking to you."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF G_D's EXISTENCE:
G_d has blessed us all, it's just that some of us have a difficult time recognizing it."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF THE DEATH PENALTY:
Vengeance may be the province of the Lord, but retribution belongs to the people."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF GRATITUDE:
If the question is: Is the glass half full or half empty? The answer is: Thank you for the half glass."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF RIGHTS:
Rights are only such when they don't infringe upon the rights of others. One's right to swing his fist ends where the other person's nose begins. Of course, if one keeps his fist concealed in his pocket he is violating no one's rights. On the same token, for example, if a law-abiding citizen goes about his legal business with a firearm concealed in his pocket he is no more infringing the rights of any other person than the theater-goer who keeps the word "fire" concealed in his mouth."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF RIGHTS:
All Americans have the right to remain silent; many, however, don't have the ability."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF RIGHTS:
You have the right to ask me any question you wish, as long as you allow me the right to refuse to answer any question I wish."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF SCHOOLS:
Framing the 10 Commandments in our schools might work for some, but posting the first 10 Amendments would work for all."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF LOVE:
Everyone experiences three loves; The one they marry, the one they're glad they didn't marry and the one that got away."
"KLEIN'S MARITAL LAW FOR MEN:
Any man who admits to his wife that he can sometimes be dumb, can get away with a lot of dumb stuff."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF COMMON SENSE:
Some people seem to have more dollars than sense."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF COMMON SENSE:
The space between unmitigated hatred and unquestioning faith."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF COMMON SENSE: One can't fix stupid anymore that one can teach common sense."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF BLUFFING:
Bluffing one's authority, power or ability is a great tactical move . . . if you pull it off."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF BLUFFING:
For every bluff tendered, there should be a plan B."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF DREAMS:
Never being able to satiate aspirations is better than not having any fantasies at all."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF VOTING:
Any politician that doesn't trust me, a law-abiding, trained citizen, with a firearm to protect myself and my family, clearly cannot be trusted with other matters of importance."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF OUTRAGE:
The resentment and contempt we gun owners have toward the anti-gunners is not that they are exercising their 1st Amendment right to redress our government - it's the outrage that they work to infringe our 2nd Amendment right via laws that ignore SCOTUS rulings."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF SURVIVAL:
The second to last thing a morally responsible, prudent person wants to do is kill another human being regardless of how reprehensible, villainous or dangerous that person might be. The last thing this morally responsible, prudent person wants to do is be killed by that reprehensible, villainous and dangerous person."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF SURVIVAL:
All the rules, statutes, restraining orders, 911 calls, hand to hand combat technics, aerosol spray Mace, run & hide or other pseudo protective measures will never equal the effectiveness of a firearm when faced with an unwarranted and deadly criminal attack."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF SURVIVAL:
If you're ever in a situation where another person is about to murder you, at that moment, you'd trade all your worldly possessions for a firearm. And, if that threat was to kill your child or your grandchild, you'd sell your soul for a gun."
"KLEIN'S 4th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Knowing how to shoot is the easy part. Knowing when is the important part."
"KLEIN'S 5th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
If you believe that psychological tough talk will enable you to bluff your way out of a dangerous situation, you might be wrong...dead wrong. Super-predators - losers with nothing to lose - can't be bluffed."
"KLEIN'S 6th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
There's lots worse things than being killed by some thug - one is: watching a family member die at the hands of this thug because you were a fool for not carrying a gun."
"KLEIN'S 7th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
If all the guns in the world could somehow be magically removed; the weak, frail and vulnerable would have no way of protecting themselves from the thugs with bats, clubs and knives."
"KLEIN'S 8th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
All Americans have the inherent and constitutional right to be free of fear from armed citizens. However, this right does not extend to usurping or disparaging other American's inalienable 2nd and 9th Amendment rights to be free of fear from thugs intent on doing them harm."
"KLEIN'S 9th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Proper training is the key to surviving attacks - lethal as well as litigious."
"KLEIN'S 10th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Always fight a fair fight - by your definition of fair, of course."
"KLEIN'S 11th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
A multi-pronged preemptive attack is better than a defensive retaliation."
"KLEIN'S 12th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
In the opening round of any battle, never strike less than twice."
"KLEIN'S 13th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Survival depends upon paranoia becoming prudence long before pogroms and flying bullets."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF GENEROSITY:
The measure of one's generosity is not how much, but how much in relation to how much is available."
"KLEIN'S DEFINITION OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:
A rhetorician, with a virtuosity complex, who ignores the rule of law to further a political agenda."
"KLEIN’S LAW OF SOCIAL RELEVANCY:
While most of us strive for social relevancy; geniuses disregard it, criminals can’t comprehend it and the homeless are unable to accept it."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF PREJUDICE:
It is a human trait to harbor some level of racial, ethnic, homophobic and/or religious prejudice. Most people are reluctant to concede this dormant bias - even when staring into a mirror. Laws, propaganda and public opinion cannot eliminate prejudice - those measures only generate tolerance by suppressing intrinsic beliefs and/or rechanneling our dislikes."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF AMERICANIZATION:
Those who fail to assimilate, to meld into the melting pot, are doomed to being the outcast."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF WAITING:
The length of the wait in any waiting room is inversely proportional to the quality of the reading material."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF THEFT:
Never steal less than you can successfully hide and comfortably retire on - after you get out of prison."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF IRONY:
A liberal is one who will staunchly support to the death all of his fellow American's constitutional rights - except one, the 2nd Amendment. Ironically that's the one he might need to successfully win the fight."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF COPS & ROBBERS:
It's just as exciting to be the chaser as it is the chasee; the significant difference being, the chaser gets to go home at night and then do it again the next day."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF PUBLIC SAFETY:
Any firefighter or police officer who doesn't believe that cowardice is a fate worse than death, is in the wrong business."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF WORDS:
Never argue semantics with a writer - it's their stock in trade."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF PLANET EARTH:
We all live up/down wind/stream from each other."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF PLANET EARTH:
Thou shalt not harvest or sell any wild animal or plant for commercial purposes."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF PLANET EARTH:
Unless we voluntarily return to pre-1800 world population levels - global warming/cooling, pollution and/or famine - will do it for us."
"KLEIN'S 4th LAW OF PLANET EARTH:
The finiteness of natural resources is inversely proportional to the infiniteness of world population."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION:
The one who wins the most battles is the one who chooses which battles to enter."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF HISTORY:
History, in and of itself, is just memories. Memories, coupled with extrapolation, are the lessons of history."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF MEMORIES:
The best memories are those that are forever melded to the sentimental portion of the mind."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF IDEAS:
Problems arise, not from entertaining new concepts, but from failing to shed old ones."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF DISCOVERIES:
Ideas, solutions and discoveries are usually found under the rock. Great ideas, solutions and discoveries are under the rock that’s under the rock."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF CREATING IDEAS:
Play solitaire. Sleep on it. Repeat as necessary"
"KLEIN'S LAW OF CREATIVE THINKERS:
Leaders harbor visions of forthcoming years; visionaries envision decades hence."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF CURIOSITY:
Curiosity generates creativity that oft-times leads to innovative solutions."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF CURIOSITY:
Curiosity is to creativity, as ideas are to solutions. "
"KLEIN'S LAW OF WISDOM:
Youth is fraught with the futility of convincing your parents you know what you're doing. Parenthood is fraught with the futility of imparting your wisdom upon your children. Grand parenting is fraught with futility of observing your children trying to impart wisdom on your grandchildren."
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TRUTHS AND LAWS BY OTHERS
"WILLIAM BLUM’S LAW OF RESPECT:
Respect is only respected when one, who disagrees with me, can accurately state my position."
"GERRY ADDINGTON'S LAW:
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, and shouting . . . holy cow what a ride!"
"TREY KLEIN’S LAW:
If you’re going to do the wrong thing; make sure you do it the right way."
"HENRY WILLIAMSON'S LAW OF RIGHTS:
A right is not a right if it takes someone else to make it happen."
"HENRY WILLIAMSON'S 1st LAW OF LIFE:
God made man perfect; conception begins the imperfection process."
"HENRY WILLIAMSON'S LAW OF TECHNOLOGY:
Technological advancement and person-to-person intercourse are inversely proportional."
"Lt. UMBAUGH'S LAW:
One either never carries a firearm, or one always carries, but one never sometimes carries."
"TOM HYMAN'S LAW OF FRIENDSHIP:
Friendship trumps moments of emotional stupidity and forgiveness trumps pride."
"LOVIE'S LAW:
I'm not whining, I'm just reiterating the facts."
"CHK'S LAW OF BUSINESS:
Little troubles now, big troubles later."
"BORDER PATROLMAN BILL JORDAN'S LAW OF GUNFIGHTS:
There are no second place winners."
"LAW OF WINNING:
The next best thing to playing and winning, is playing and losing."
"EDUCATION vs. EXPERIENCE LAW:
Education is what you get from reading the small print; experience is what you get from not reading it."